


Take a Break

by abelrunner



Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-05
Updated: 2013-08-06
Packaged: 2017-12-22 11:35:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/912734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abelrunner/pseuds/abelrunner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I think we need to take a break,” he said. Eugene looked... relieved, and Jac resisted the urge to run out of the shack, screaming.</p><p>“Yeah,” Eugene said. “Let’s... let’s go get some air or something-” </p><p>Ah.</p><p>“No, Eugene.” Jack said. “A break from us.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Take a Break

Jack had been meaning to have the conversation, of course. The problem had sort of latched on, wriggled in, ever since Bella mentioned it.

"You know," she'd said, studying a leek with unnecessary interest. "Sometimes, Eugene isn't... well..."

"Isn't what?" He'd asked, holding the basket of produce. She'd hesitated, obviously trying to choose her words carefully.

"Sometimes, he isn't very... he isn't very nice, is he?" She'd put the leek into the basket, still not meeting his eyes. "Have you noticed?" 

Jack had shaken his head, protested. But the statement had stuck around, and the more he thought about it, the more he'd realized that it was true.

Granted, Eugene had always had his moments. It was just who he was really. Sometimes a little dismissive, sometimes a little condescending. But recently, the sheer amount of moments had gotten, well...

It was like he couldn't go a day without making Jack feel small, or stupid, or like a child.

And it wasn't like they could TALK about it; no no, god forbid they TALK about such things. 

_But **I'm** the childish one..._

He meant to have the conversation, but he kept putting it off. There never really seemed to be a good time to start it. _Hey, have you noticed that you've taken your whole "being a prat" thing to a whole new level recently?_ No, that's not really bed talk, is it? And lord knows privacy for any good amount of time was a luxury very, very few could afford. 

So it sat in his mind, and he mulled over it, and the righteous indignation started to build. And if Eugene noticed, he didn't say anything, which frankly just made everything that much worse.

So one day, it just sort of... spilled out.

"Jack?" Eugene asked slowly. "You with me over there?"

"Hm? Yeah, fine."

"Are you sure?" 

Jack had no idea what it was about that phrase, but something in him snapped.

"What do you care?" He wasn't shouting, not yet. It was of a snarl than anything. "Not like you want to talk about it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Eugene snapped back defensively, and Jack stood so fast that his chair fell over.

"It means, Eugene, that-that you are incapable of talking to me!" 

"I talk!" Eugene protested, but rather weakly, almost reluctantly. He was already starting to shut down, and Jack hadn’t even gotten started.

"Oh, no you don't!" Jack threw his hands in the air. "When's the last time you actually told me why _you_ were in a bad mood. Or, hell, when's the last time I got to talk about my bad mood with _you_ , a-and not Bella or Sam or bloody _Simon_ for crying out loud!" Eugene said nothing, just kept glancing over at the iPod pointedly. 

Well, if he thinks I'm going to stop just because the song is over, he's got another thing coming.

"I can't talk to you! About anything serious! About your feelings or my feelings!" Unable to stop himself, he jumped tracks. "You treat me like I'm some sort of idiot!"

"No I-"

" _Yes you do!_ " Jack is not crying, he's not because he simply _isn't._ "I'm not stupid, Eugene! I'm not some sort of... idiot manchild because-because I'm _happy_ or-or because I don't hide my emotions behind some big macho... whatever this is-"

"I don't think you're stupid, Jack." Eugene said, painfully, maddeningly calm. And the very fact that he was calm just made Jack even more angry. Jack wanted to pace, he wanted to flail his arms, he wanted to scream but the comms station was far too small for that. He felt trapped, and increasingly frustrated.

"Every day, Eugene!" He said, trying to get _something._ "Every, single day, there's something. Some, some remark that makes me feel about this big.” He brings his thumb and forefinger very close. Eugene still doesn’t look up. “Maybe I _am_ stupid; I didn't even notice until Bella-

But before he could continue, Eugene asked, dangerously quiet, "So this is about Bella?"

Jack couldn't really process the question for a moment. It made absolutely no sense. He stared at Eugene, and watched as, slowly, the suspicion in his eyes gave way to realization, and then panic.

" _What?_ " Jack said, utterly confused.

"No? Nevermind." Eugene tried to backtrack, but Jack shook his head.

"No, what did you-" Realization clicked as Eugene squirmed. "Oh my god."

"Nevermind." Eugene said again. "Just... just forget it."

"No!" Jack held his head in his hands. "Jesus, Gene, you think we-, what? You think I'm cheating on you?" Eugene said nothing. "Christ, Eugene, so-so let me get this straight." He couldn't look up. If he did, chances were he'd start crying in earnest and this would all be for nothing because if Eugene comforted him he'd lose his nerve. "Not only do you think I'm some sort of... stupid manchild-"

"I don't-"

"You don't trust me." The temperature seemed to drop, and there was a long, very uncomfortable pause. "You think... what, I spent all that time in Byrkmire shacking up?" Still nothing from Eugene, and a half-hysterical laugh escaped and hung in the air. "Jesus, Gene, how the hell am I supposed to defend myself if you don't even _say anything?_ "

Jack finally looked at Eugene, but he might as well have just kept staring into his palms. Eugene wasn't looking at him, and there wasn't really any emotion there either. Disappointment rose in Jack's throat like bile, and he sat down in his chair, holding his head in his hands and trying very, very hard not to cry. 

"This isn't healthy." He said heavily. "This isn't how a relationship is supposed to work. We're supposed to be able to talk about this kind of stuff, Eugene." He felt himself hunch over a bit more as the sheer weight of what he was saying settled on his back. "Hell, this isn't even a fight; you're not even saying anything, it’s just me yelling at you."

"I don't know what you want me to say." Eugene replied heavily.

_And you’re not even listening._

"Anything." Jack managed, and he wished that he didn’t sound quite so pathetic. He took a leaf out of Eugene’s book and just refused to look up. “I want you to talk me. I want you to trust me.” 

There was another pause, and Jack felt his heart crack a little from the strain. Breathing was suddenly far too hard for comfort, and it only became worse when he felt Eugene’s hand slowly ran through his hair, the thumb rubbing against his hairline. Jack leaned into the touch on reflex.

He’d never done this before. Never decided the course of a relationship; usually it was the other person, whether through their own words or actions. But if he didn’t, who would? Not Eugene, obviously.

He sat up, breaking the contact. Eugene looked startled when Jack took a deep breath.

“I think we need to take a break,” he said. Eugene looked... relieved, and Jac resisted the urge to run out of the shack, screaming.

“Yeah,” Eugene said. “Let’s... let’s go get some air or something-” 

Ah.

“No, Eugene.” Jack said. “A break from us.”

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair at all. Not fair to Jack for Eugene to just go flat again; not fair to Eugene for Jack to be so disappointed because really, what had he been expecting?

“ _Aaaaaand, now it’s time for another song._ ” Phil’s voice suddenly filled the shack, and Eugene closed his eyes tightly as all the blood in Jack’s body shot to his face.

“ _Phil!_ ” Zoe hissed, but Phil plowed on. 

“ _Soooo, have a good night, cit-i-zens, and let’s hope our co-hosts don’t become a Ross-Rachel repeat._ ”

“ _Oh my good god, I’m so sorry, you two. Phil, I’m going to-_ ”

Don’t Go Breaking My Heart started playing. 

Jack hoped Zoe ripped Phil’s throat out.


	2. Exchange Program

Everyone had heard. _Everyone._ They tried to hide it, but just the very act of pretending made it so painfully obvious.

Eugene was good at pretending he didn’t notice. As always. They sat across from each other at supper, and everyone talked as if the radio wasn’t on and they hadn’t all heard the entire fight from start to finish.

Jack helped Eugene with the tray without a word, and they split up outside of the cafeteria.

“I’m gonna go talk to Janine,” Jack said. “About the whole... housing situation.”

“Right.” 

“I’ll, uh... probably be by to get some of my stuff-”

“Fine.” That was all Eugene said, and then they walked away from each other.

At first, it took effort for Jack to keep walking towards Janine’s farmhouse, head held high, not looking back. He wondered if Eugene looked back.

Probably not. 

After that realization, it was remarkably easy to just keep walking.

Janine answered the door fairly quickly, and unlike the rest of the people he’d seen since the fight, she made no attempt to pretend she hadn’t heard it. 

“Mr. Holden, that was remarkably unprofessional,” she sniffed. “And... unfortunate. I assume you’re here for new housing?” 

Jack expected to feel angry or put off by her manner, but it was really just a relief. Finally, someone other than him was acknowledging this.

“Yeah, actually. Blue house is closer to the comms station, so... Eugene should probably-”

“Yes, that’s a well-thought out decision, but there’s... another option.” She looked as if she really didn’t want to mention it. “Would you... like to come in?”

Jack hesitated. People that went into Janine’s house usually came out as the bearers of bad news two hours later. No one knew what took so long, but they expected dry, roundabout lectures occurred before the actual news.

“It will only be a moment,” Janine assured him. “And if you don’t want to, and please know that you can absolutely say no, we’ll get you a new key and new rooms and-”

“Are you propositioning me?” Jack asked, only half-joking. Janine looked horrified.

“What?! No! No, no, no, I-!” She made a sound of irritation. “Just.... Just come in, Mr. Holden.” Jack hurried in before she could see his grin.

Her house was very nice, in an old fashioned, English grandmother sort of way. Somewhat uncomfortable antique couches and chairs that matched and shiny wooden coffee tables with crochet doilies on them and bookshelves with lots of delicate collectibles on them. Not very Janine. Jack had the feeling that everything on the main floor, in all its not-quite-homey glory, had been in the house for decades. Like it was what Janine’s grandparents put in here.

“Sit, Mr. Holden.” She gestured to the vaguely uncomfortable couch and he sat down. He could just feel the wood and springs through the cushion. “Tea?”

“Uh, sure.” She went into the kitchen, leaving him utterly baffled. Did she make tea for everyone? She had to; he couldn’t imagine why he’d make tea for him. But she didn’t seem the type to go out of her way for everyone who came in.

Jack let out a breath slowly, awkwardly, and tapped his hands on his knees. 

Though the decor had the general air of having been kept for sentimental value, or perhaps just an unwillingness to go to the trouble, there weren’t any pictures or mementos of any kind. Some little porcelain things on one shelf, some little glass things on another shelf, but nothing to really hint at Janine before Abel cropped up on her front lawn.

She’d probably taken them all down, assuming they were there in the first place. Probably didn’t want people in Jack’s position to see her with no front teeth or birthday cake all over her infant face. Stuff like that would probably ruin the mystique of it all.

Not to mention it would be terribly embarrassing. Jack didn’t even want to think about the pictures his mother would have shown Eugene. He could just picture it; her cornering him and dragging him to the couch and pulling out the huge scrapbook. 

His family would have loved Eugene. An actual job, clothing without tears, skin that wasn’t completely covered with tattoos. They’d had it out for anyone with a tattoo ever since Freddie convinced Jack to get one. It had been addictive, getting his tattoos. He had quite a few; not to the extent of, say, Simon, whose entire torso was covered and whose arms were the proud bearers of colorful sleeves, but he had enough to cross over into looking rather disreputable at first glace. Oh, they would have a fit at Eugene. 

A sharp little stab of pain hit him in the heart at the thought. His eyes started to sting a little, just a little.

He wondered if Eugene would have liked them. He thought he would have. 

He wondered if they were still out there somewhere. If Eugene would ever get the chance to meet them. If this whole thing would go so poorly that even if he got the chance, it would just be as a work friend.

Janine came with the tea and made a show of fussing with the tea cups until Jack got a hold of himself.

He took the cup of tea and drank it for some excuse for how wet his eyes were. Janine sat across from him and took her own tea in little sips.

“Mr. Holden,” she said, after Jack had stopped trying to cook his tongue. “Esteban called in a few minutes ago with an offer.”

“Oh?” Jack didn’t particularly like Esteban. No one did, really. But the last time Esteban had “called in with an offer”, he and Eugene had gotten back on the air, so he tried to keep an open mind.

“Yes. He heard your little... well, he heard-”

“Oh god.” Jack whispered, mortified. “ _He heard?_ ” Of course Abel would hear, and obviously Phil and Zoe, but-

“Mr. Holden, do I really need to remind you that Radio Cabel possesses the combined signal strength of Abel Township and New Canton? I don’t think there’s a person within a fifty mile radius that _didn’t_ hear.”

Jack took another scalding sip of the (remarkably strong) tea and fervently wished he had the ability to melt.

“But anyway. He suggested that we take the opportunity, his words not mine, to do a little... experiment.”

“Experiment?”

“An exchange program of sorts.” She was watching him very closely now. Jack frowned.

“Meaning?”

“Meaning, you - or Eugene, of course, but I’m assuming it would be you - would go and stay at New Canton, while Ms. Crick or Mr. Cheeseman would stay here. And the two of you would provide info for your homebase on how people live in the other settlement.” There was a pause as Jack considered this.

Yesterday, or the day before, the idea would have been flatly rejected. Leave Abel, leave Eugene, for any period of time to stay at New Canton?

Now, though. Now he was tired, and sad, and his mouth hurt, and the thought of seeing Eugene while they were on a break was too painful to contemplate.

“How long?” he asked. Janine seemed surprised that the idea was gaining traction.

“A week,” she said. “Or thereabouts. Two weeks, at most.” She eyed him. “You’re thinking about it?”

“Seems like fun,” he said, with more lightness than he thought himself capable of. “When would I head out?” Janine stared, then shook her head.

“Um, tomorrow, actually. Esteban’s apparently had the idea for a while. Ms. Crick is already packed.”

“Excellent.” Jack finished his tea, avoiding Janine’s startled eyes. “Guess I better get packing then.”

“Er.... yes, quite.” Janine put her tea cup on its saucer. Jack did the same. “Runners Four and Five will escort you to the halfway point between Abel Township and New Canton tomorrow at noon. There, you’ll meet up with two New Canton runners and Ms. Crick. Runners Four and Five will escort Ms. Crick, and you will go with the New Canton runners.” 

“Like an info exchange.” Jack mused. Janine nodded. “Well, best get to packing.”

Janine nodded again, looking only slightly worried.

\--

The lights were off when Jack slipped into their room, but Eugene wasn’t asleep, just in bed.

“There’s been a change of plans,” Jack said, standing in the darkness awkwardly. He heard Eugene shift.

“Oh?” There was a remarkable amount of hope in that syllable. Jack swallowed past the lump in his throat.

“Yeah, uh...” He toed the floor. “Esteban suggested it. It’s like... an exchange program.”

“What?” Eugene asked sharply, and there was a fumble of motion from the bed as he struggled to get up. Jack winced at the sound of crutches tumbling over, and a muttered curse. He reached over and turned on the light.

Eugene was still in his clothes, had apparently just been on the blankets rather than under them. He squinted in the glare.

“Exchange program?” He asked, his voice still sharp. Jack nodded, feeling a bit more vulnerable in the light. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I go to New Canton, and Zoe comes over to Abel, and we stay there for a week or so, and then we come back,” Jack explained. Eugene stared. “It... sounded like a good idea.” Eugene’s jaw clenched and he nodded shortly.

“Yeah, sounds great.” He twisted himself back onto the bed, clearly declaring the conversation over. Jack sighed, unwilling and unable to push, and shut the light off. As he did so, he realized he’d never gotten a key from Janine for another room. He stood awkwardly for a moment, unsure of what to do. Finally, he shuffled to one of the chairs to the side of the door and sort of curled up in it.

Oh, this was going to suck.

A few moments passed, and then Eugene said, “What are you doing?”

“I didn’t get a room,” Jack admitted. “I forgot.”

“You-” Eugene sighed, and Jack thought he heard a small chuckle of exasperation there. “Come on, dummy.” Jack felt a small, sad smile creep onto his face at the sound of Eugene’s voice sliding into the well-worn, almost comfortable grooves of affectionate aggravation. He heard Eugene hit the bed, and Jack slowly got out of the chair and slid beneath the covers. 

There was about three or four inches of space between them.

There was far too much space between them.

Jack fell asleep before Eugene did.

\--

He packed the next day, and Eugene just sort of watched with an unreadable expression. Unrelenting, Jack chattered away.

“Janine said it’ll take about a half hour or so to get there, depending on whether the runners want to chat,” he said, throwing his scanty selection of shirts into his rucksack. “So I’ll get straight to the comms station to tell you I got there safe.”

“Good.”

“Make sure Zoe gets on okay,” Jack continued, sort of rolling his least stained pair of jeans in a ball with some weird canvas pants the runners had found in trashed mall. “Don’t just wander off. Make her feel welcome.”

“I know.”

“I’d hate to have to hear about how she’s just being ignored-”

“ _I know, Jack._ ” 

Jack shut his mouth with an audible click of his teeth and smashed the flap of the rucksack down. “Fine.” He shouldered the pack and turned around.

Eugene was standing, and for the first time since Jack had mentioned a break, there was an emotion on his face. It was subtle, and Jack couldn’t quite tell what it was, but it was there and that’s what matters.

Eugene shifted one of his crutches and held out an arm.

They hugged for far too long, but Jack just couldn’t help it. He wrapped his arms around and didn’t let go. He needed to let go. If he didn’t, he’d just stay here and nothing would get done, nothing would change. 

Eugene’s hand was in Jack’s hair and that made Jack’s knees feel a little weak and watery.

Jack managed to pull away with difficulty, but they were still a bit too close, and Eugene’s hand was still all tangled up in Jack’s hair.

“I’ll be back in a week or so,” Jack said unnecessarily. “When I get back, we can talk again.” Eugene looked down at the floor. “And if we can’t, then.... we’ll go from there, okay?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Eugene said. There was a pause. Jack couldn’t bring himself to move, and Eugene’s hand didn’t disentangle itself from his hair. 

Eugene leaned in and pressed a kiss against Jack’s forehead.

“I _do_ love you, you know,” he murmured. Jack smiled.

“I know. Love you too.” 

_That’s sort of why this is an issue, love..._ He didn’t say as Eugene’s hand finally fell away.

_That’s sort of why this whole thing hurts so much, love..._ He didn’t say as he closed the door carefully behind him.

_That’s sort of why I need you to talk to me, love..._ He didn’t say as he came to stand between Runner Five and Jody, both of whom gave him small, sad smiles.

“ _Alright, everyone,_ ” he heard Sam say. “ _Let’s get going, I guess._ ”


End file.
